A brother from China called me. He had pronounced three divorces upon his wife at once. He had done so in a moment of anger, and now he deeply regretted it. They have young children, and both the husband and wife want to continue their marriage and keep their family together.

The brother explained his family and marital situation to me in detail. He has been living in China for many years and works for a company. The imam of the mosque near his home is a Chinese Muslim. A Bangladeshi businessman in Korea had advised him to contact me.

Personally, I follow the Hanafi school of thought. However, I believe that, when necessary, there is room to follow a scholarly opinion from outside one's own madhhab. This does not mean that a person can simply choose whichever opinion he likes. If an opinion outside the madhhab is supported by strong evidence, there are principles, conditions and guidelines for adopting it. When I consider taking a broader position in a particular matter, I try to follow those principles.

However, I have very little sympathy for men who disrespect their wives in this way and pronounce divorce in a moment of anger.

I told him:

"In your anger, could you not have cut a piece of your own flesh? Could you not have broken your own leg? Could you not have pulled out one of your own eyes? Then why should your wife become the victim of your anger?"

Even after hearing this, he continued to plead with me:

"Huzur, please find some way out for me."

I said:

"As far as I am concerned, the only way forward is for you to recognize that you were not worthy of your wife and to separate from her."

Considering the Korean businessman who had referred him to me, I gave him the contact numbers of Professor Mukhtar Sahib and Dr. Manzur-e-Elahi and advised him to speak with them. Some scholars from the Ahl-e-Hadith tradition hold a different view on this issue. I also spoke with Professor Mukhtar about the matter. He said, "Alright, I will examine his case."

Triple divorce is a highly sensitive matter. It is essential to know the complete circumstances of the incident, the exact words used, the person's state of anger, and other relevant details before seeking a fatwa from a qualified scholar. There is detailed discussion and legitimate juristic disagreement on this issue.

In the end, I felt that this was not merely a story about divorce. It was a serious lesson for many men.

Your wife is a great blessing from Allah. Appreciate that blessing. Respect her. Treat her well. Much of your life in this world and your success in the Hereafter are connected to the person with whom you share your life.

Anger may last only a few moments. But a decision made in those few moments can change the life of an entire family forever.

So when you are angry, pause. Remain silent. Change your place. Make wudu. Remember Allah. But do not let a word leave your mouth whose consequences you may have to carry for the rest of your life.

It takes years to build a family. Do not destroy it in a few moments of anger.